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Bradsblog from the Bradlands
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Well, its been a couple of weeks since I started my extern-ship, so I guess I should get some info out there. Life in a commercial restaurant is definitely interesting, and I'm learning a lot about how that business functions, at least the food preparation and presentation part. Its always stressful for me to get into a new environment with a lot of stuff to learn, especially in a situation like that where its the "real world" and you can't really afford to screw up, but you don't really know what's going on, either. Some training happens, but in actuality everyone has a lot to do and you've got to get at it without taking up too much of their time. I'm getting there, though, and starting to work into the groove. I got put out on the "the line" within a couple of days, doing the cold station (salads and some of the appetizers) which actually went very well the first day I was officially there. It was the previous day when I was still supposed to be training there but they sent my "trainer" home because it was so slow and then a raft of tickets came in that was a little hairy. But we got through it. Sometimes I think that I'm not getting enough exposure to things, and that the training is pretty haphazard, but I've actually been out there on the line helping quite a bit already and the existing sous chef (guy in charge) assures me that when he externed there he only had one day on the line his entire time, so I'm going to quit griping. There's no doubt, however, that a little disconnect exists between what the school says and what the supervisors think at the sites in terms of seeing externs as "free labor", rather than students who are there to learn. But I guess I expected that.
I'm still very unsure whether a job in a restaurant is for me, even in the short term. It was never in the cards for the long term because of the disconnect between my schedule and Rhonda's, and that has turned out to be just as big a bummer as I anticipated. I was willing to deal with it for awhile in order to feel like I was learning and getting trained for my intended career as a personal chef, but now I see that in reality you wouldn't really learn a whole bunch other than how to do a few recipes on that restaurant's menu and some things about production which may or may not apply. So I don't know. I may just go right ahead and hang out my shingle as a personal chef off the bat. A personal chef, by the way, is someone who goes to people's homes and cooks a week's (or so) worth of meals and leaves them in the freezer with instructions. Much better in terms of being your own boss, having decent hours, etc. and a whole lot more room for creativity and variety. Restaurant work would definitely be boring for me, having to cook the same stuff all the time. And you have an opportunity to really add some significant value to people's lives. Helping people celebrate events or whatever at a nice place like Slates is cool, but I admit that I'm greedy. I want whatever I do to make other people's lives better and in regards to cooking, I want more than just helping them celebrate or do deals. Helping people eat well and eat healthy, especially if they have special needs, are house-bound, recovering from surgery, whatever, would just have so much more opportunity to make a difference and be a real part of people's lives at a more relational level.
So we'll see. Ultimately I still want to have Brad's Bistro, which is a concept of personal cheffing, only with my own kitchen which I really prefer. But that will take significant investment and entail some risk that I'm not sure I want to take on right now (I know I don't have any resources for the investment). I have a friend of mine who is a nutritionist and personal trainer that's starting a new business to help people with over-all "wellness", including fitness, health, nutrition, food, etc. and he wants to talk to me about maybe being a part of the food component. I'd be all over that, especially since he and his partner are approaching it from a spiritual perspective and I may have some resources to add there as well, so we'll see if that goes anywhere.
Meanwhile, its three more weeks and I'll hopefully be done with the whole school/extern thing and maybe have some kind of clue what's next. New this week on the website is an article entitled "Life as Liturgy." Check it out at www.bradsbistro.com/articles/lifeasliturgy.html and let me know what you think. Until next time,
Draw near to God,
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Well, classes are over. Took my finals on Tuesday and now it's on to my extern-ship at Slate's. If you're interested in how a practical final works there and what I did, I posted a little summary at www.bradsbistro.com/food/practicalfinal.html
Also finished up my gig at Central Community Church in Hanford. Going to miss putting together sermons for awhile, but its best if I concentrate on what I need to do for a few weeks, I think. Then, come fall who knows what I'll be doing. Maybe three different things, like I am now. The people at that church have been so good to us, and so appreciative. They deserve a big blessing, and I'm praying that they and their new pastor can really put something special together there in Hanford.
West Coast Booth called me back to help them out of a bind with a stack of orders they need framed, so I'm back doing that a few hours a week. Can't say its my first choice, but the opportunity comes just when I'm in a space with no income at all, so guess I can't complain.
Still got a bunch of writing I'd like to do, recipes I'd like to post, etc., but that's just going to have to hang out until I know what my schedule is. I figure to make sure that I'm the best extern that the school has ever sent to Slate's, and then take a couple weeks off to be with family in August, and then see what real life brings. Juliet comes home the first week of August, and the next week we'll celebrate our 25th (are you coming to the gig? www.bradsbistro.com/anniversary.html), and I think I'll manage to get my hours (180) in by the end of July, or close, so that's all good. The only thing I don't really look forward to (OK, not at all, really), is if I have to go in early afternoon and come home late and never see Rhonda. No bueno. Weird enough right now with being gone four evenings a week at school, but that would be intolerable for the long haul. So we'll see how long it takes me to feel confident in marketing myself as a personal chef or something with more flexible (and sane) hours. Could be a year or two, I guess, but who knows.
And, to be honest, I still haven't said no to God for whatever he might want. I think of it as not giving up: just surrendering. Amazing what you can rationalize with some good semantics. I just doubt if God wants me in vocational ministry. Certainly can't see how anyone would want to pay me a living wage for that given my track record, but preaching at Hanford certainly reminded me that's still what I love the most and am probably the best at. In the long run, we'll see if I figure out a way to marry food and preaching. Can you see a TV show, maybe? Demonstrate a recipe, preach the gospel, and then hammer them for money. What a deal.
Draw near to God,
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Well, sorry for the hiatus from the blogosphere, but its been a little crazy. This will also be a short update, but bottom line is that I'm in my final week of classes before finals next week, and then its on to extern-ship at school. I was placed at one of the most high end Restaurants around, probably the most in regards to extern sites that the school usually works with. I was told by one chefs to prepare for high expectations, because they "only send their top students" there. I understand I'm the 10th one so far. You have to have at least a 95% for them to even consider placing you there, and they want to make sure you don't embarrass them, I think. So we'll see if I manage to avoid that. I'm sure I'll learn a lot, at least.
Last week I had a cool gig working at a company who provides lunches for their 25 or so employees. Nice kitchen, got to design my own menus, etc. Unfortunately, the lady I was replacing all of a sudden decided to get better and get off of disability and go back to work. Amazing recovery. But I couldn't have stayed more than past next week anyway, and this gives me a chance to come up to breathe before jumping into my extern at Slates (www.slatesfresno.com).
Two more weeks preaching at Hanford and then the pastor they hired is coming in for at least the rest of the summer, even if he doesn't officially start until late November. Been a good gig, and I hope to post a couple of articles that I've been thinking of writing based on some of my sermonizing there, but we'll see what kind of time I have in the near future for that sort of thing.
I was thinking the other day that what I really do well is substitute. Teach, preach, cook... Maybe guys like me who do a lot of different things and seem to have ADD on a grand scale of life's vocation are meant to just be good substitutes. It would sure be nice to actually feel like you've succeeded at one thing someday. But helping people out in transition or in a pinch isn't a bad thing, either. The weird thing is leaving people behind who wish you were doing otherwise, like the folks at Dunavant who really liked those healthy, home-made, creative meals. But I guess that's a measure of success in a way as well, at least if you're a substitute.
One thing I've enjoyed lately is the nutrition part of school. I'd really like to dive into more of that and get to the point of being able to help people eat well and eat healthy, even if they have special dietary needs. Wouldn't it be cool to someday be a personal chef of sorts (with or without my own kitchen) and help people out. Not to be morbid or anything, but even partner with places like hospice care to make people's "final meals" something worth eating. I don't know. The deal at Dunavant (company where I cooked) makes me feel like doing the corporate cooking thing would be a fun gig too. Maybe I'll become an executive chef at one of the restaurants at Google. Hey hey hey...
Anywho, I've got some articles and recipes that I had hoped to be able to post by the time I updated my blog, but that just didn't happen. So I'll let you know if anything new gets up here. If not, I'll let you know how the extern is going in a couple weeks.
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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I think I'm not that great at this whole blogging thing. Here I am done with my 3rd week of garde manger, a term that started as a way of designating the storage area in the kitchen and has come to mean the "art and craft of the cold kitchen", that is to say salads, appetizers, cured meats, that kind of stuff (which isn't always "cold" work, even). Anyway, can I just say that if I live my whole life without a chicken liver pate' that I don't think the overall value of my existence will be significantly compromised? But there's also some "cool" stuff as well.
Website updates are three new songs, "Lead me to the Rock", "Who is Like My God?", and a song I wrote for my mom on her 75th, "An Empty Urn."
Most important, though, is that I've posted the invitation page to our 25th anniversay celebration in San Jose on August 11th.
http://www.bradsbistro.com/anniversary
Please check it out and get in touch!
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Well, all done with my first mod in the "hot side" of the kitchen. " Basic culinary skills," which is what it was. I learned some stuff to be sure. Maybe not quite what I thought I would with 100+ contact hours in the kitchen, but we're moving on and I'm still seeing life in a commercial kitchen as a positive alternative future to be sure. That week with pneumonia that took me out of class did some harm to my grade, but I think I still ended up at or near the top of my class, so I guess it couldn't have been too horrible.
Those nice people at Central Community Church in Hanford have asked me to keep preaching there. I wish I knew what it meant when people say that I've had an "impact." It isn't my perception that my life and ministry have been exactly impact-ful (is that a word?), so I don't know how to think about that, really. Maybe they've got bruises or something. But its a good gig, and I'm looking forward to helping them out while they wait for their new pastor to get on board. The spiritual journey that I've created for the next couple months over there is posted up here at http://www.bradsbistro.com/Spiritualjourneys/crowningcongregations.html I've added some bible studies lately, and a seminar or two from the bible institute. The next week or two there should be a few more songs and an invitation page to our 25th anniversary gig on August 11th.
I've also put up a new item accessible under the food stuff page: the recipe of the day. In spite of my schedule, I still find some time to dork around in the kitchen and once in awhile I come up with something.
Best thing that happened to me lately was that I flaked out for a day and went to Squaw Leap, one of my favorite local hikes through and up and around the San Juaquin River gorge at some BLM land about 45 Minutes up the hill. This time of year it's wild flower heaven there. I was actually a little late for the full bloom, but I've put some pics up here at http://www.bradsbistro.com/squawleappics.html
Get in touch some time.
Draw near to God,
Brad
ps. I just noticed that the links this blog creates to web pages on my site can't actually find them for some reason. The addresses are correct, though, so I guess you'll have to cut and paste them into your browser until I figure out how to work this thing.
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Hey, not much to tell this week. Was hacking and hewing and lying around with a fever until I finally went to the doc and started getting treated for pneumonia. Missed all week in the kitchen. Managed to do a service at the Rescue Mission Saturday night and Hanford Sunday, but I'm pretty wiped. The thing is, in spite of being exhausted, my sleeping regulator appears to be busted, as in it won't let me. Probably got about 5 or 6 hours in the last three days. I feel thin, stretched somehow. Like butter that's been scraped over too much bread...
So I'm hoping I get to sleep tonight sometime sooner than 4 in the morning and can get back into the real world, if that's what you call my life right now. I'll let you know.
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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1st week in the "hot side" of the kitchen. Pretty basic stuff so far: making stocks and sauces, knife skills etc. Sometimes I'm learning something and sometimes I'm thinking, "OK, I make a way better chicken parmesan than this." In all cases, though, its helpful to experience how things that I've been doing at home come together in a commercial kitchen and that's really one of the main points: learning how to operate in a professional environment.
One more week of my preaching series in Hanford. I've got audio versions of all the messages that I've done there (except the first one) posted on the site now if anyone seriously has too much time on their hands (find the links on the page for that spiritual journey and/or the site map). They've asked me to continue there through the rest of the month as well. Those people are way too good to me, but it certainly is nice to have a teaching/ministry outlet. I guess its not too far from my preferred future, really: doing the kitchen thing as well as having opportunities to do what I do with God stuff. Just gotta get rid of the need to hold down that third job to pay bills with and get some reasonable boundaries back. But that'll come, I hope.
Went to the Monterey Bay aquarium on Saturday and was overwhelmed once again by God's underwater creativity. We miss the incredible flowers we walk by in the yard every day, and get to where we just glance at sunsets, so its good to go to places like that once in awhile and understand the immensity of the idiocy involved in thinking that there isn't a designer behind it all. And it's Easter week when I always have similar thoughts in regards to the overwhelming evidence for the resurrection of Christ and how that works together with creation, the Scripture, the experience of God throughout history, etc. to confirm the truth of what God has revealed. Compared to being secure in the knowledge that his kingdom has come, is coming, and will come and that I'm locked into that for eternity, making the perfect hollandaise is just a little window dressing.
He is risen. Have a great Easter. and...
Draw near to God,
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Well, mod 2 in the bakeshop is over. 5 weeks, 5 hours a day and I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of what a pastry chef needs to know, not that I'm planning on being one. But I learned some concepts and some lingo and some things about what's different in baking bread and stuff in a commercial kitchen vs. at home, so that's all good. I'll get my grades on Monday, but I suppose I'll come out OK. I went into the finals, written and practical, with a 99.5% and I only missed one on the final and scored 95 out of 100 in the practicals, so I think I'll stay on the dean's list.
I've been thinking about something that I like about food. If you put the stuff together right and put the heat to it, it always does what you want. Compare that to leading a church or teaching. You could put together all the discipleship resources you want and try your best to light a fire under people, but in the end the choice is all there's. Or in the classroom, you could do everything possible to not leave any child behind, but if that's where they want to be, there's nothing you're going to do about it except take the blame.
I know this all makes me sound very cynical. That's such a negative term. But that doesn't mean I've given up on using what gifts I have to try to influence people toward a positive journey and resource them accordingly. I've just surrendered trying to make a vocation out of it. There is a difference between giving up and surrendering, right? I'm not saying no to God or anything, and I'll always be available to him for whatever. But it's just hard to try to make a career out of something that is so dependent on other people's choices. Well, we'll see what the future holds. For now, it's on to culinary fundamentals.
Draw near to God,
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Still loving life in the kitchen. Need work on some of my breads, especially the baguettes, but I'll figure it out. My torts I could sell for some bank, though. This week was quick breads--muffins, scones and stuff. Not really exciting, but one night I stayed late and watched the chef make a cake for the party they had for the outgoing director, and that was pretty amazing. We'll see what kind I can produce this week.
Started my series of sermons at Hanford this week, which is fun. There will always be a hole in my life if I'm not teaching somewhere or somehow, and I'm grateful that I have the opportunity. Although my schedule is a little crazier then I'd like, I feel like it nonetheless has some balance to it. Teaching on Sundays for ministry, as well as my own growth (we know that's how we grow best, eh?), classes at night for training in new skills, and working at schools for some moolah. The only thing right now is that spring is in the air! The itch is going to be increasing to figure out a way to get some outdoor, especially mountain, time in there somewhere. That could be tricky, but clearly a non-negotiable. We'll see how it goes.
Draw near to God,
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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Wow, its awesome to be in the kitchen. Baguettes, epis, foccacia, fougasse... Oh baby, the dough we can make in this biz. I love it there. Fast pace, lots of stuff happening, fun stuff, and people around you. I particularly like that last part-- the extreme isolation I've lived in since coming to Fresno has really corrupted my spirit. I think I've discovered what there can be in solitude, but that's a useable spiritual discipline and something quite different from day to day isolation from human interaction. I can see kitchen work with a good team as a better future for me. 5 hours iin the bake shop went by and it seemed like I had just got there.
I'm also reminded this week of how motivated I am to train myself to do something other than substitute teaching. Couple of really trying days this week. Especially Wednesday. But then on the way to school, exhausted and frustrated, there were the clouds clearing from the storm to the west with the sun shining though and creating an intense, full rainbow to the east where the storm was still black behind it. If you told me I could delete the entire day trying to deal with those monsters, but would have to miss out on 3 minutes of freeway time watching the sky, I wouldn't have done it. God is faithful to help you regain your perspective when it gets tough.
I was thinking about how when it gets really dark around you that those can be the times when it is hardest to find God or have any sense of his presence. And we wonder why he isn't in the midst of things making them come out more to our liking. But it seems to me that our whole lives are really just a process of getting away from the garden--of the original sin of wanting to be like God, or thinking that we know how things can or should really be. It can take extreme situations sometimes to bring us to the point where we abandon all of that and get to the place where we are on our knees declaring that we know nothing about anything, not even where God is or what he is up to. We don't know why, we don't know what to do, we don't know how to pray, we have nothing left but a dogged insistence that God is, and we aren't him. And when the sun shines through again, and we know the promise of a rainbow, we understand that bringing us to that point, as hard as it was, was also a gift of his grace to us.
Anyway, I got some time last weekend to get some music up on the website and hopefully there will be more to come. I'm working on ways to get decent recording of other tunes. And I'm starting to get bible studies posted up there that I hope someday will be a resource for someone somewhere. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Draw near to God,
Brad
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Posted by Brad Kunkel at
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